I’ve recently found myself nestled anxiously in the in-between. You know, that peculiar midway stop-over between your life as you know it, and the next big thing. That moment in time where your holding your breath just to peak at what’s around the corner, not knowing whether the path looks the same, or pressed in a different pattern.
I can’t help but feel nervous, as I try so desperately to anticipate how last weeks events are possibly going to shape my small world from here on out.
But before we get ahead of ourselves, let me start right back at the beginning – back at the third Sunday of August…
It was warm, and disbelieving in the proclaimation of being a Winter’s day. I had started that week expecting nothing more than four long night shifts, hours chasing confused old men down hospital corridors back into bed at 2am, and an additional 5kg weight gain from the copious amount of sugar necessary to get me through it all.
And each of these things happened. In fact, they were very realistic expectations, and none more so than the little old man I spent hours with trying to convince him that the heat pack was not a chip packet and most definitely could not be eaten. Most days, these conversations are the only thing that actually makes me, as a nurse, feel sane.
But what I didn’t account for last week was the addition of a family member, and a job interview that could make all my career dreams come true.
On Tuesday I was out to breakfast with my Mr. at our favorite cafe. We have been there so often lately, that we now have a “usual” and our Caramel Lattes are made before we’ve even arrived. I’ve never felt more important in my life.
Half-way through my hollandaise smothered (no judgement) breakfast Turkish, my phone started ringing, brightly displaying a ‘No Caller ID’ identity.
This isn’t unusual, because this usually means that the hospital is calling me and nine times out of ten is either to offer a shift for that night, or ask whether Mr. Smith was experiencing a new or old confusion about the aforementioned heat-pack. But when I answered, the voice that spoke was unfamiliar and what followed had me shrieking between mouthfuls of bacon.
Her name was Jeanine and she offered me an interview for a clinical nurse position at the new hospital next year. If you’ve been following, this is the job I’ve been acting in for the last year or so. So the opportunity to make this permanent was exciting.
She pencilled in a meeting with the interview panel on Thursday afternoon, and I was very happy until I realised this meant a life-changing interview …in the middle of my night shifts.
Never mind being nervous about the interview itself, just try structure words together in a sentence to start off with on 3 hours sleep.
Never-the-less, Thursday morning arrived and I climbed into bed ready to take advantage of as much sleep as I could muster before the afternoon interview.
Often as I’m trying to fall asleep, I’ll quickly scroll through Facebook until my eyes can’t concentrate on the screen anymore and my eyelids become heavy with sleep.
On this morning I had the type of Facebook notification which I usually dismissed without even looking. You know, one of those things Facebook thinks is important to you because you looked at the page this one time, and now it thought you really needed to know that Sharon Noble posted 8 new items to the page Dresses For Sale.
Except this one was for a ‘Pets For Sale‘ page notification, and I have been looking (unsuccessfully) for a puppy for the last three months – so it wasn’t totally irrelevant. But still, I never usually clicked on these notifications either. Until I did on this sleepy Thursday morning.
It was a bit of a whim, and because I wasn’t quite droopy-eyed yet, I thought I would spoil myself and look to see what cute puppies were up for new homes this week.
What loaded was a post for five little golden retriever puppies about the size of my forearm, looking for a forever home. And BAM, suddenly sleep wasn’t on the cards anymore.
You see, I’ve been looking for a golden retriever puppy for what seems like forever. I even took three weeks off work with the intent for them to be a ‘puppy holiday’, and honestly thought golden retriever puppies would be easy to find last minute.
I’ve now been informed that golden retrievers are not all so common, and are quite fussy at what times of year they in fact breed. Making it very difficult to line up a puppy with my puppy holidays. Until I saw this post.
I was up and on the phone before I knew it. And by 12pm, I’d chosen a puppy from the photos sent and was well on my way to buying out the contents of Petbarn altogether.
I achieved 3 hours of sleep, but the excitement made fatigue feel non-existent which was a gift as I headed into the interview.
I managed to answer every question, speak logically (or at least, I’m 90% sure I made sense) and I even drew out a concept map to the panel to explain my point. The interview was over before I knew it and I had spent so much time thinking about the puppy that I barely had time to even develop a case of the nervous shakes.
My week went from zero to one-hundred in a matter of three days. With these two events alone bound to have a ripple effect in my life.
In all honesty, I’m not sure whether I’ll actually secure that all-too-important CN position. In comparison to the nurses I went up against, I’m very young and not nearly as experienced. I started acting in the role three months out of my Grad Year, and realistically, I can’t see them giving the position to me even if they do see potential in my ability, based on the fact that I haven’t even been a nurse for a total of 3 years yet.
But I hold a little pride in that fact that they gave me an interview in the first place. So whatever happens, I know I’ll be okay. Because this is only the first opportunity. And I know there will be plenty more if this ripple effect doesn’t let me keep my pretty acting CN shoes.
But what I do know for certain, is that this puppy is going to change my life even if the interview doesn’t. And I couldn’t be more excited.
I ended my week with a road trip north with my Mr. to meet the newest addition to our lives. I knew from the moment I held him and he snuggled his tiny head underneath my scarf and nestled so closely to my heart, that I would love him forever, more than I’ve loved anything before.
He’s mine in four days time, and I’m counting!
I’ve spent two days puppy proofing the yard and nailing down almost everything. I’m expecting things to get chewed and holes to be dug, but I am so ready to love the tiny paws off this dog!
His name is Igloo, and I’ll let you know how he settles in.
As for the CN position, well I’ll let you know how that goes too. But if the puppy is just the consolation prize, then that’s okay by me. There’s always next year for becoming important and bossy at work 😉
Last week just goes to show, that you simply just don’t know what life is going to throw at you. Be ready for it all, and love the journey. Because these the are moments to live for, to appreciate and truely experience.
These in-between moments are defining, and important. Don’t forget to be present in the moments where it all was about to change…