Beauty in the aftermath.

 December 31st, 2014

The ability we have to live extraordinarily is one of life’s greatest gifts, but it is more often than not taken for granted. It hangs by a thread as fine as a spiders web, and the smallest of things can be held responsible for it’s falter. It can leave the strongest of us helpless in an instant. And in that instant, hope becomes our protector, and Love becomes our stronghold.

365 days can change a person. When the clock moved all too swiftly into 2014 at the beginning of the year, I remember watching the fireworks light up the night sky and found myself hoping for a year that would exceed all others.
I stood blissfully unaware of what would unfold, without preparation for what came next.

2014 has been a difficult year. As all years conclude – there have been the usual triumphs and heartaches. But I feel like this year has rivalled all other years that have gone before it in both.

And in all honesty, a part of me still isn’t entirely sure how I survived it. But I’m thankful that I did because I’m taking into this new year a heart made little stronger and a little more superhuman despite it’s new scars.

I’m not the same girl now on December 31st as I was on January 1st. In the space between, I learnt a lot about a world altogether quite beautifully undone.

This year I have a lot to be thankful for and amidst my darkest days I have strived to remember that. This is life after all, the beauty of it is that we are in fact blissfully unaware as to what happens next. We are repeatedly given the choice to either let our battles conquer us, or place one foot in front of the other and not allow defeat to be our definition.

In 365 days…

I became a registered nurse and countlessly witnessed the impact of kindness and the warmth found in caring.

I became a friend who experienced the violently bitter lost of another and struggled to shine as bright without her.

I learnt how to say goodbye to a lifelong companion, I learnt how to cherish his memory.

I became a girl who knows there is purpose in what breaks a heart in two. And learnt how to hold myself together when it felt like each piece of me was falling apart.

I found beauty in the aftermath. I found strength in numbers.

I decided to live my life passionately and love unconditionally. I decided to value all people. I decided to be kind without reason.

I changed the way I looked at things. I changed the way I spoke about what bothered me.

I made a conscious decision to be braver, to smile brighter, to cherish the here and now, because as I discovered this year – time neglects to stand still, and all that glitters can become lost in that one defining instant.

365 days can change a person. I know I am forever changed by the pieces and events that comprised 2014. And as the fatigue of a big year and night shift currently take it’s toll on my tired little mind, I can’t help but to curl up on the couch and feel content with being blissfully unaware of what 2015 holds.

I look forward to the promise of 365 new days to live extraordinarily.

Happy new year.
d x

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