November 5th, 2013
this morning i woke up to a thunderstorm. thunder, lightening, wind and rain – the whole sha-bang. and i happily snuggled up under my doona as i watched it pour down outside, safe and warm. theres just something about waking up to the sound of rain (and falling asleep to it for that matter) that makes me feel excited – i cant explain it much better than that, except to say that rainy days in my historical knowledge mean blankets, hot chocolates and pancakes for afternoon tea.
in fact my very best childhood memories revolve around dark skies, a warmly lit household and the smell of strawberry-covered pancakes waiting for us on the kitchen bench after school. in all honesty, i think this was where my addiction to rainy days began. and as much as i am a summer enthusiast, i continue to look forward to rainy days. i feel inspired by them – to somehow be different, creative…wild.
…or maybe that’s just the effect of being cooped up inside all day? either way, rainy days have always presented me the opportunity to reflect upon the most important things in life.
today, i spent a great deal of time thinking about friendships. i remember reading somewhere that friendships that last longer than seven years are scientifically predicted to last forever ( and while i couldnt tell you whether this source was entirely credible, the ‘scientifically’ in there makes it sound a little more promising). and then it dawned on me that ive never actually had a friendship last longer than five years, let alone seven, and i felt my heart sink a little wondering whether that made me a bad friend.
i think when i was younger, i was a good friend. before all the heartbreak and the stress of university, i remember spending holidays in New Zealand primarily concerned with hunting down souvenirs for half my grade, and spending a year’s worth of pocket money on Christmas presents for the other half 6 months later. i used to laminate valentines day notes and give them to my friends who didnt receive roses on the notorious, and post copious amounts of ‘supportive’ advice on the myspace (facebook wasnt on the map yet) walls of those who i thought might need it. infact, the sixteen year old version of me might have indeed taken out best friend of the year.
but somewhere between then and now, there was enough disappointment and let down that i think i stopped being such an award winning friend, and placed the focus on building a double-brick wall around my heart. ive had a couple of close friends drift out of my life, and i often wonder whether i let it happen too easily. i seem to always put it down to simply ‘growing apart’ and perhaps thats a true fact, but regardless, im sitting here on a stormy day and wondering whether i need to be a better friend.
i think most people understand how busy life can be, but i also think more effort should be put into making time for friends. afterall, they are the small parts of life that keep you sane…most of the time. and this is exactly what im trying to do. i don’t plan to return to award winning levels, but i do plan to be there for the people i love in any way that i can. and i vow to make strawberry-covered-pancakes for them on their rainiest days!
now, who wants to be my friend?