February 13th, 2012
each year there are two very strong opinions about valentines day.
the first is largely determined by all those who have found their everything in life. they fall asleep smiling knowing that tomorrow there will be a bunch of twenty roses sitting on the dining room table when they get home from work, or a heart shaped card with the evidence of an undying love written inside. they get those butterflies, and they embrace valentines day whole-heartedly. if im completely honest, a part of me loves the idea of valentines day. not because of the huge sales news agents and flower nurseries make, but because for one day – the world is able to look at the one they love, know they are loved in return and make a statement.
i helped my dad cut the stems off twelve red roses this afternoon and arrange them in my mothers favourite royal daulton vase (it wasnt the prettiest arrangement i will admit, but love and thought was present on each petal). when she arrived home, and dad proudly wished her a happy valentines day (even if it was a day early) – i could see the love in his eyes. and i could see it returned in hers with a look that seemed to say “you’re my entire world”. i felt jealousy pinch at my heart, i hope to have that one day…
the second are those who fiercely dread tomorrow, yet secretly hold a small hope somewhere hidden within that they’ll be lucky enough to somehow receive a rose. they pretend that they dont care, or vividly announce to the world that valentines day means absolutely nothing to them, but we’re human. its a lie they tell themselves to protect them from that god-awful feeling of loneliness. its a way of coping with a broken heart, or even one that has never found love in the first place. its a defence. almost an excuse in advance explaining why a rose, card or soft heart-holding bear never showed up on their doorstep.
but this year im adding a third opinion. my own. its not profound, nor worthy of being noted in a book – and im entirely sure it doesnt quite matter in the scheme of all things, and has probably been thought of before. but i tend to believe that if you have been lucky enough in this lifetime to fall in love with someone, you dont need to wait until february fourteenth to show that person what they mean to you. because that love that you feel for someone, it should be expressed everyday. it doesnt have to be an extravagant gesture, a simple kiss on the forehead is sometimes all it takes. just find a way to tell that person you love them before you fall asleep each night and make every day valentines day.
and for those that walk past a news agency fighting the urge to tear down every paper heart dangling from the ceiling, hang in there. no one was ever meant to end up a cat lady or ‘forever alone’. just because you havent found the love of your life to share valentines with, doesnt mean you arent loved immensely by everyone else in your life or that you never will find your everything! you may feel the loneliness creeping into the depths of your heart, and vow to not dare sign into facebook tomorrow – but no ones story is ever finished being written. they say that everyone has a happy ending, and if you’re not happy…its not the end. i choose to believe that.
valentines day, on its most intricate level, is simply a day of love. so spend it with those you love – husband, fiance, boyfriend, best friend, sister, brother, mother, father….anyone you hold close to your heart. because to me, thats what valentines day should be about.